What could go wrong when you mix bacon and heavy cream??

So I call this recipe "Throw-stuff-together-from-the-kitchen-because-you-don't-want-to-go-out-and-face-the-'black-Friday'-crowds" recipe. "Stuff from the kitchen" for short.

Here's what I did. And I am no gourmet cook, like my Dad or anything, but I think it turned out good. And I made it from scratch. And I created the recipe all on my own. These are all monumental achievements that should be noted because they may never happen again.

I refused to go out "there" today. It's Black Friday. One glimpse of the stampeding crowd told me stay far away. Plus, I've done most of my shopping online at 3 in the morning when the baby gets his bottle.

So, here's what I did.

I found great northern beans in my cupboard. I threw a cup of them in my dutch oven (that's gourmet for "big pot you can cook things in") with 6-8 cups of water, brought them to a boil, let them boil for several minutes, and then let them sit for an hour. I should be clear these are the packaged beans, not the canned. You can use canned if you are short on time.

I strained them and then threw them in a crockpot. I added a bunch of chicken stock (enough to cover the beans and then some) and some other stuff. Here's the stuff:

A dash or two of kosher salt
A ton (like 4 or 5 cloves) of mashed (pressed) garlic
Penzy's Turkish Seasoning (I'm telling you-get some!) It's basicallysweet paprika, salt, cumin, peppercorn, garlic, (yes, more garlic, don't judge me) oregano, sumac (?), and cayenne pepper.
It's kinda spicy without being obnoxiously so.
About a glass of white wine.

Then I let it sit on low for 3 or 4 hours. I lost track. When I decided it wasn't moving along fast enough, I cranked it from low to high and (get this) added more Turkish Seasoning, garlic salt, and about 3/4 cup heavy cream. Oh and somewhere in there I threw in a Tablespoon of bacon grease that I have in the freezer. (or was it fridge?)

After about an hour, I added some cut up leftover turkey. I let it go for another 45 minutes or so and then I added 3 pieces of bacon cooked and torn up and some shredded asiago cheese. I stirred it altogether and served it with some leftover olive bread we had on hand.

It was REALLY, REALLY good. The only thing I would say is don't be afraid of adding more salt, pepper, and garlic to taste. Other than that, it was yummy.

And I didn't have to go out once today. I have no idea how many calories it is. Depends on if you go back for seconds.